The first thing that comes to mind is that I wasn’t going to eat carbs this week, but I “changed my mind” and ate a muffin this morning. That’s the short answer. But the last meaningful thing I changed my mind about? Well… I ate a muffin this morning.
I ate a muffin this morning because I changed my mind. I decided not to let fear play a part in any more of my decisions- big or small.
I recently gained a minimal amount of weight (two pounds.) It sent me into a panicky spiral where I envisioned sweat pants, bon bons, loneliness. I swore off all carbs. I’ve recently been through a divorce after being betrayed for years. It’s hard to feel good about myself when I’ve been put through the wringer by someone I thought was my best friend. I fear I’ll never be good enough, thin enough, ‘fill in the blank’ enough. And that fear [made me] “need” validation from others. Like someone telling me, “You look great!” See how two pounds becomes a very heavy burden?
But I changed my mind this morning. No more fear. I am enough. (Don’t worry; I’m not going to go out and eat mountains of muffins in the name of fearlessness.) If I live a healthy, balanced life (that includes the occasional muffin,) I’m perfectly me. And the right person will show up at the right time and will love the real, true, fearless me.